The Many Misfortunes of Brainiac Five
by Firegirl210
Summary: Everyone loves Brainy...or at least loves driving him up the wall! This story is a collection of shorts in which Brainy is teased, tormented, annoyed, laughed at and all around loved until he wishes we didn't love him anymore.
1. Shorty

_Hello lovely readers! I have edited and revamped this story a bit, for your benefit and because I love you!_

_Anyhow, this is my story The Many Misfortunes of Brainiac Five, which is basically a collection of shorts in which Brainy is teased, tormented, annoyed, laughed at and all around loved until he wishes we didn't love him anymore. _

_Read, Review, Request Misfortunes, and Enjoy!_

* * *

Shorty

Lightning Lad looked up from his seat in the main room as the newest member of the Legion of Superheroes sat down hesitantly across from him. He was a tiny kid who couldn't have been more than eleven, with blonde hair that hung in his unnerving two-toned purple eyes. He was a Coluan, which was weird enough, but he was also frighteningly intelligent and a little stuck up.  
He was one of two who had been selected during the most recent Legion Auditions. The other was a girl who could shrink, and that was the extent of the Winathan's knowledge.  
"Hey there. What's your name, Shorty?" Lightning Lad asked, and the Coluan frowned slightly at the ginger.  
"I am Brainiac Five. Not Shorty."  
Lightning Lad shrugged, but he smirked to himself; this kid was easy to annoy— he would have to make a mental note of that.  
"See you around, Shorty."

BOOM!  
Several Legionnaires rushed to the Lab, a new addition to the Legion Tower. Smoke was pouring out of the door, and Brainiac Five stumbled out, coughing and choking as several assistant robots programmed specifically to extinguish fires set to work.  
"Again? Grife, Shorty, what are you building in there?" Lightning Lad asked, waving his hand in front of his face to clear the smoke. Brainiac Five was still trying to contain the smoke, and when he turned, he was covered in soot and grime.  
"I am working on a new project that will benefit the entire Legion." He said sharply, speaking in his usual sophisticated manner that was much too formal for an eleven year old.  
"Which would be…?"  
He looked annoyed, as if he spent far too much of his time explaining things to less intelligent creatures—which, technically, he did. "I believe I have discovered the correct formula for creating a machine that will respond to a Legionnaire's thought pattern and allow them to—"  
"Interlac translation please?" Lightning Lad broke in, and Brainiac Five gave him quite a look. It reminded Saturn Girl faintly of the way someone looks at a particularly nasty bug before squashing it.  
"My new invention will allow you to travel and fight in an aerial position. Basically, it will allow you to fly with a thought."  
The other Legionnaires mumbled in approval. Lightning Lad clapped him on the back, grinning. "Well done, Shorty."  
Brainiac Five scowled, looking extremely annoyed. But the Winathan didn't seem to notice, and he wandered away with two purple eyes boring into his back.

The training room was empty except for one tiny green skinned boy, staring in intense concentration at a target across the room. His eyes were calculating, and his hand was melding and clicking as it transformed into a laser cannon. He took aim and fired, hitting the target dead center and incinerating it instantly.  
"Wow, shorty, you're one frell of a shot!"  
Lightning Lad had entered the room when he wasn't looking, and Brainy turned with a scowl on his young face. "My name is Brainiac Five. Not Shorty."  
Lightning Lad shrugged and turned to Cosmic Boy, both preparing for a 'friendly spar' that was really just a way for them to beat the snot out of each other without breaking Legion Code.  
Brainiac Five stalked out, sending a frown Lightning Lad's way when he called, "See you shorty!"

The Legion regrouped, brushing off dirt and nursing injuries from their recent brush with a new super-villain group—they were calling themselves the Fatal Five. And they were bad news.  
Brainiac Five, recently dubbed 'Brainy', lifted his arm, eyes running over the damage that had been done. It slowly regenerated, and Lightning Lad appeared at his side.  
"Good try, Shorty. We all got our butts handed to us today."  
He was referring to the cyborg member of the Fatal Five, who had made a complete fool of Brainy and then blown off his arm to boot.  
"Don't worry—better luck next time."  
And then Brainiac Five snapped.  
He stood up and whirled on Lightning Lad, his small body clicking and suddenly shooting up to twice his normal height, shoulders broadening, head becoming an armored shell and arms and legs widening to hold weapons and shields.  
"My name is Brainiac Five! NOT SHORTY!" He snapped, his voice two octaves lower as he loomed over Lightning Lad, glaring.  
Lightning Lad almost peed himself. He swallowed hard, looking up into the face of the furious Coluan with a nervous laugh that sounded more like a squeak.  
"Sorry about that, Big Guy. No more shorty. Understood."  
Brainy shrunk back down to normal size, and it was hard to believe he had been so large a moment ago.  
"Thank you."  
He turned and walked inside, and as soon as he disappeared, everyone else burst into laughter at Lightning Lad's expression.

THE END

* * *

_So there you have it. I was watching the first episode of LoSH ever, and when Brainy went battle mode and scared the frell out of Tharock, I laughed so hard! Little teeny Brainy!_

_Anyhow, if you have any requests for particular Misfortunes you would like to see (of any Legionnaire, I'm taking requests for a new collection as well) leave them in the reviews I'm sure you're all going to leave ;)_

_Thank you all!_

_~Firegirl~_


	2. Swimming

_Kon'nichiwa! How are my lovely readers today? I am wonderful because I'm reposting another chapter! :)_

_Anyway, this chapter has the possibility to be a little confusing so I'll go ahead and explain something really quickly: Firegirl/Phoenix is my OC from my other story The Adventures of Firegirl who is my match for Brainy. I have also been a B5/SV and a Superman/Brainiac Five fan in my time, so bear with me. I love her and can't keep myself from writing her into the post-season two chapters.  
This particular chapter also skips back and forth between post-season-two and pre-season-one. But you all have, what, seventh level intelligences? You can probably figure it out ;)_

_Read, Review, Request, Enjoy!_

* * *

**Swimming**

The Legion of Superheroes was taking a much needed vacation to one of the best places on Earth: Oceanic City Florida. They had come to the most popular beach in the country, and they were having a blast. Live Wire, Starman, Blackbelt, Nemesis and Bouncing Man were on one side of a volleyball net, facing off with Saturn Woman, Triad, Phantom Girl, Phoenix and Dream Woman. So far, the girls were beating the snot out of the boys.

Timber Wolf had fallen asleep in the sun, and was in the process of being buried in the sand by Cham in the form of a dog and assisted by Ultimate on Superspeed. Brainy and Violet—who claimed they burned easily—were hiding out beneath an enormous beach umbrella, making sure no parts of their bodies were exposed to the killer sun. Invisible Kid was nowhere to be seen, and some of them had the sneaking suspicion that he had slipped away to watch the girls in bikinis. Tesla and Alchemist were out in the water, splashing and laughing while Polestar tried to look impressive for Quantum on a surfboard that kept flipping him over.

After the girls had sufficiently creamed the boys in seven straight rounds of volleyball, Phoenix came and flopped down on her towel in the shade between Brainy and Violet. Her face was red with sunburn, and her curly dirty-blonde hair was windblown and wild with sea-salt.

"Hey guys. You know, it's awfully hot out here. The water looks fun…we can dunk Polestar under…Live Wire might electrocute us…" She edged, but the two heroes looked like they didn't like these ideas. She sighed and blew a curl out of her face before turning back with a questioning look on her face.

"How do you sunburn anyway, Brainy? Do you turn darker green or what?" She asked, and Violet suddenly burst into a fit of giggles. He gave her a look of contempt, looking like he wasn't particularly thrilled to be at the beach in the first place. Phoenix scooted closer to him and grabbed the sunscreen.

"What's so funny?" She asked, in the process of smearing more sunscreen on her boyfriend's already creamed bare shoulders.

"I was just remembering the first time you went swimming, Brainy…" Violet said, smiling widely, and the boy blushed dark green. Phoenix immediately perked up, clamoring for Violet to tell the story.

"Well, it was a little while after he joined the Legion…"

* * *

"Brainy, I'm sure it's fine. Just come on out." Saturn Girl probed, standing by the entrance to the boy's locker room. All the Legionnaires were waiting impatiently for their last member to join them so they could get going.

"Come on, Brainy! It can't be worse than Cos' geek tan!" Lightning Lad called, earning himself a smack over the head courtesy of Cosmic Boy. A small green head poked out, and Saturn Girl motioned encouragingly.

Brainy emerged from the locker room, looking self-conscious. His swim trunks were black and purple, and his tiny green torso was smooth and metallic looking. He acted as if he had never been swimming before, and Saturn Girl had the suspicion that he hadn't. The others turned and started heading for the doors, itching to get out into the sun.

"What does one do while swimming?" He asked softly as they trooped through the doors to the warm tropical air that proved they were on a beach.

"It's for fun." She said, and he frowned slightly. He looked so young and nervous; she couldn't help but smile at him.

"Just follow my lead." A soft voice said, and Element Lad appeared at their side, a helping hand resting on the Coluan's shoulder. He steered Brainy towards the crashing waves of Coastal City, Florida, propelling him towards several beach umbrellas that Colossal Boy and Shrinking Violet were setting up. However, he was soon called away to play Frisbee, and Brainy was left alone.

He stood by himself, small arms crossed over his slim chest and eyes focused on the horizon, the salty ocean air ruffling his blonde hair that hung loose to his chin. He looked down at the ocean; waves rippled and spread out toward the beach, leaving trails of foam in the sand. He slowly walked to the edge of the water, looking at it like it would bite him. He stretched a foot forward before jumping back—that water was cold!

He started as Lightning Lad suddenly grabbed his arm, towing him towards the water. "Come on, Shorty! Don't be such a stiff!" Brainy gave him a scalding look, but Lightning Lad ignored his protests and managed to drag him knee-deep in the water.

"I do not understand how contracting hypothermia is considered fun!" He said, and Lightning Lad grinned, picked him up and threw him over his shoulder. Brainy yelped and struggled, but the ginger Winathan held him there.

"You're going to have fun, and you're going all the way under if it's the last thing I do."

"That can be arranged!" Brainy snapped as Lightning Lad went chest deep in the frigid water. Suddenly a shadow floated over them, and they both looked up to see Bouncy using his flight ring to get to maximum altitude for an explosive dive. Lightning Lad backpedalled in a panic, but it was too late for them.

"CANNONBALL!" Bouncy hollered and inflated, landing with a monstrous wave of water in front of Lightning Lad and his captive, knocking them both off their feet. Lightning Lad came up laughing, and Brainy surfaced with a splutter as he pushed his wet hair out of his eyes.

"This is-ack!-not amusing!" He coughed, trying to stay afloat. Lighting Lad swam over and splashed him, making him splutter more.

"That does it!" His hands morphed into propellers, spinning faster to throw water directly into the red head's face, the resulting water pressure making Lightning Lad spin back farther. He resurfaced several feet away, a little red, to see Bouncing Boy on his back laughing and Brainy looking at him with a combination of surprise and...smug excitement. He lifted his propellers again and started swimming towards the red head.

"No! NO! YOU STAY BACK YOU LITTLE-AHHH!"

A little while later, Lightning Lad had gotten out of the water to hopefully let his ears recover and Brainy was floating on his back, grinning from the results of the water war. Lightning Lad-1. Brainy-2.

"Geez, you really are a fish in the water, aren't you?" Phantom Girl said lightly, having gotten back in the water after reapplying sunscreen yet again.

Brainy went vertical in the water and looked confused. "I am not a fish nor am I aquatic in nature."

"Brainy, it's an expression."

"Oh." He thought for a moment. "Humans have very unusual metaphors."

"You know what else they have?" Brainy slowly turned to see Bouncy floating there, all three Triplicates swimming nearer. Everyone had rather evil expressions on their faces as they surrounded the Coluan.

"DUNKING WARS!"

Bouncy paddled over and dunked Brainy's head underwater, the younger boy still smiling as he resurfaced. "I do not recommend initiating a water battle with me. It would be unwise."

"What can you do when you're outnumbered?" Bouncy said cockily as the orange Triplicate moved in on Brainy's left side and white on his right. Purple was coming up behind him, but he just smirked. "Let's find out."

It was the water war of the century.

* * *

Brainy laughed out loud at that memory, startling the two girls. "That was certainly an interesting—HEY!" He suddenly exclaimed as Lightning Lad grabbed his foot and started dragging him across the sand towards the water.

"We're having a rematch. You can't cheat this time!" They splashed into the water, Brainy rolling his eyes as Lightning Lad let go of his foot, leaving him sitting waist deep in the water.

"It was not cheating; I was making use of my resources."

Live Wire grinned, a sparkle in his eye. "But now since you can't—ack!" He choked on salt water as Phoenix dunked him under with a big grin.

"Yeah, but he has back-up now sparky!" He resurfaced, grinning.

"CANNONBALL!" Bouncy and all three Triads landed in the water near them. Soon all the others jumped in and they had what would be the biggest water war that beach had ever seen. The only one who ended up staying out of it was Polestar after everyone ganged up on him eventually anyway.

Brainy laughed as Phoenix spat a stream of water on Cham's face:

It really was a perfect day.

THE END

* * *

_Oh geez, I just got the mental image of Cos in a swimsuit. I really hope it's not a speedo XD _

_Anyhow, thanks for reading! Request any misfortunes for the lovely Legionnaires you would like to see in the future in your reviews! And please do review!_

_~Phoenix~_


	3. Laundry

_Bounjour! So this little misfortune was born when I read a comic in which some of the Legionnaires got their powers switched, and it got me thinking. What if their suits were switched?_

_This is set pre-season-one. There is a slight hint of B5/SV in this one. As you can tell I flip flop on my Brainy Pairing Preferences ;) _

_Read! Review! Request! Enjoy!_

* * *

**Laundry**

Dream Girl hummed to herself as she pushed the Laundry trolley down the hall, dropping each Legionnaire's clean uniform in their bin. She came to Brainy's room and dropped his purple and black suit in the little slot, still humming to the tune playing in her head as she walked by dreamily. She moved on, not knowing what grief she had just caused the little Legionnaire.

.

Brainy opened his eyes, sitting up in his bed and stretching. He swung his legs out of bed and grabbed his uniform, shaking his shaggy blonde hair into place. He slipped the suit over his head and frowned—his uniform was tighter than usual today. He looked down and froze—

This was not his uniform!

He dashed to the mirror and gaped, looking at the uniform he was wearing. It was long sleeved and purple—a similar shade to his, he noted—with a high black neck and horrifying black thigh-high boots and gloves. He yanked it off immediately, his mind running through the possible courses of action.

They all came out to either go out to reclaim his lost clothes in Violet's uniform, or in his underwear.  
He'd take his chances in his underwear.

.

Shrinking Violet stormed out of her room, wearing a short-sleeved suit with the Brainiac Symbol on the chest that was a bit too tight and looking quite agitated.

"Brainy!"

She rounded a corner and ran right into an invisible something—a something that tripped and landed on top of her with a yelp as she fell back. The air wavered, and a terrified looking Brainiac Five came into view, lying on top of her in his underwear.

"Brainy...what the Sprock are you doing?" She asked as he yelped again and tumbled backwards off her, landing on his back. He was wearing nothing but his boxers (she noticed with a roll of her eyes that they were purple and black and had the Dox symbol on one leg—he even had to have his symbol on his underwear apparently) and looking very flustered as he tried to retain his dignity.

"Violet! Our suits were switched somehow. I was coming to exchange mine with yours." He said, holding up her Legion Suit. She snatched it, turning and going back the other way. He jumped up and rushed after her, still looking mortified as he disappeared into Stealth Mode.

She went into her room and closed the door in his face, leaving him standing—invisible, he thanked the Gods—but cold outside in his underwear. Then she finally opened the door again and dropped his suit on his invisible head—a perfect hit, he noted grudgingly—and swished away in her thigh-high boots and purple suit that looked much better on her than it had on him.

He yanked his suit over his head and ran after her, trying to explain. "Violet! I had nothing to do with this, you realize!" He called, hopping into the pants of his uniform. He rounded a corner and tripped flat on his face at the feet of a flustered Triplicate Girl.

"Brainy! Oh, good. You got the uniform issue sorted out. Dream Girl got the uniforms a bit mixed up...she's new and everything..."

As if on cue, Phantom Girl stomped by in a very different—very _pink_—uniform, glowering as she headed for Saturn Girl's room. Trip hid a snicker and helped Brainy stand up, looking at his chest with a smile. She lifted his arms and turned his shirt around quick as a wink, making him blink and step back, embarrassed. He had been so flustered he had put his shirt on backwards.

"BOUNCING BOY!"

Lightning Lad suddenly stormed by in a very droopy blue suit, fists crackling.

"I swear, if he stretched out my suit..."

Triplicate Girl just laughed.

* * *

_Heh heh. Bouncy and Lightning Lad always get their stuff switched XD_

_Anyway, I love you all! Please review and read the next chapters!_

_~From Me to You~_


	4. SQUEAK!

_Guten Tag!_

_Heh heh...this one is funny because Brainy has no flipping clue what's happening to him XD Poor naive little genius..._

_Some explanations on this chapter: Firegirl/Phoenix my OC is in this one again, as it is supposed to be set post-season-two when Brainy is human. Also, Brainiac 5.1 is another OC of mine who is Brainy's sister Niana Dox. If you want her story, read Breaking Chains (which isn't finished...sorry about that...you'll get the general idea...) Tesla is also an OC, sorry for so many people you don't know! Read my other stories and you won't be as confused maybe. (Or maybe you'll be more confused...)_

_Anyhow, read, review, request, enjoy!_

* * *

**SQUEAK!**

Brainy was giving his annual (and highly dreaded) statistics and finances lecture. The entire Legion was forced to be there either in person or by means of Holoscreen—although in reality, most of the Holoscreen attendees just paused their screen and went and did something else while their frozen image paid intent attention.

The only people who actually cared about his speech (Polestar, Quantum, Brainiac 5.1 and the newly elected Legion Leader Saturn Woman) sat in the front row, and the others tried to do other things without him noticing.

Live Wire and Timber Wolf were playing paper football over the top of Cham's snoring antennae, and the ball kept flying off course and smacking Apparition in the back of the head. She would shush them before going back to holo-texting Triad and Violet on her Omnicom. Bouncy was snoring loudly, and Nemesis and Blackbelt—who were arm wrestling behind his slumped figure—would occasionally pretend to be handing something to 'Invisible Kid', who had really disappeared and gone somewhere else and made them cover for him. Starman and Dream Woman were whispering to each other, and occasionally Sun Boy would join in their conversation. Tesla was trying to pay attention—really, she was—but Phoenix kept making faces at her from behind Brainy's head, trying to make her laugh.

"Five point seven eight milliON! dollars in repairs due to lack of..."

Several Legionnaires exchanged glances—his voice had just taken quite a leap. Suddenly there were many more pairs of eyes focused on him, wondering if it would happen again.

"The United Planets secretary of treASU!ry estimates that if we are not more vigilant with preSER!ving the property on which we battle WE!-"

He stopped suddenly as snickers broke out among the watching members. He blushed slightly and frowned, clearing his throat. "Ahem."

More snickers this time, less contained. Live Wire disappeared off his chair he was laughing so hard and trying to keep it silent, and Phoenix was giggling so bad that her face was turning red. Brainy looked quite offended, and he tapped his voice amplifier.

"I don't SEE! how thIS! is FUNNY!" He snapped, his voice cracking three times in the single sentence. The Legion lost all collective control and dissolved into chaos, laughing and bubbling as he lost his dignity before their eyes.

"WE! will contINUE! this on a LA!ter DATE!" He snapped, only making them laugh harder as he stormed out, face flushed dark green.

Phoenix flew out after him, trying to contain her laughter. When she had finally composed herself enough, she rounded the corner and grabbed his arm. He turned to face her and she dissolved again, giggling madly at his offended expression.

"I fail to see the humor in my misfortune!" He squeaked, and she just shook her head, hugging him as she laughed.

* * *

_We obviously do see humor in your misfortune, Brainy. Sorry that we're terrible XD_

_Request Misfortunes for our little green friend and other Legionnaires in your reviews! Peace out!_

_~From Phoenix with Love~_


	5. KABOOM

_G'day Mates!_

_Well...I have no idea where this one came from but here it is XD_

_Read, Review, Request, Enjoy!_

* * *

**KABOOM**

Brainiac Five observed the materials before him, eyeing them mistrustfully. He was nearly seventeen years old—he really needed to learn to cook someday. Or at least that's what Phoenix kept insisting. She was actually standing beside him for what she called 'Moral Support.' He looked at her, and she motioned for him to get going. There would be no help from that area. Tesla and Alchemist were also looking on with tactfully neutral faces as Cham and Invisible Kid cracked up with no subtlety at all.

Well…they were probably laughing at the apron he had been forced to wear. He was going to murder Phoenix for that later.

He poured water into a pot, turning the heating unit up to HIGH. Macaroni and Cheese. It couldn't be that hard, right? He waited for the water to boil, looking at the instructions. Invisible Kid was already gone, losing interest when nothing happened immediately, and Cham soon drifted out as well. At least no one was laughing at him now. Alchemist and Tesla were called away for Patrol, and Phoenix had to go take care of some crisis with Niana in the lab, stubbornly making him stay behind and finish his job.

He was on his own now, which was both a relief and a bit nerve-wracking. But really, what could happen? Brainy turned and set the box back down, going to the refrigerator and pulling out milk and butter. How much did he need...? Suddenly the smell of smoke drifted under his nose, and he whirled. The box had caught fire when he set it down on the stove! He yelped and leapt after it, grabbing the box and shoving it in the water—the _boiling_ water.

"OUCH!" He yanked his hand back with a shout, flinging the wet, still smoldering cardboard box full of uncooked noodles over his head. It just happened to land in the open top of the large coffeemaker in the corner. The suction cord started swelling slightly as the box clogged it, and the machine began beeping persistently. Brainy shot to turn the stove off and then whirled around just in time to be hit full in the face with the ensuing explosion.

KABOOM!

Phoenix heard the explosion and raced to the kitchen, closely followed by Cham and Triad. They whipped around the corner to see a shocking—and downright hilarious—scene of destruction in the Kitchen.

Brainy stood there, dripping wet with coffee and soggy noodles, just staring at the wall with a 'that did not just happen' expression. The entire kitchen was coated in noodles and coffee, and the pan was still in his hand, slightly sideways and dripping hot water on the already totaled floor.

Cham burst into laughter, falling flat on his rear and whooping at the green boy's shocked look. Triad was trying not to laugh—poor girl, she really was—but she lost control and dissolved into giggles as Phoenix also lost her self control and doubled over with laughter.

Brainy set the pot on the stove, shaking his hands off with the same 'it didn't just happen' look. He seemed to finally notice the three Legionnaires, and he crossed his arms and stared at the floor.

"Re-eally Brainy? Mac and Cheese?" Cham gasped, wheezing from laughter. Said Coluan walked to the door, obviously trying not to explode in frustration. Phoenix thought about hugging him, but then settled for just patting a clean spot on his cheek. "It's ok. I spilled noodles all over the stove once..." She lost it and started laughing, and he walked out, and there was the sound of something wet hitting the floor as he chucked his apron at the wall.

The three dissolved into laughter again, unable to contain themselves any longer.

"So...who's gonna tell Timber Wolf why his kitchen is totaled?"

Both girls pointed at Cham immediately, and he sighed.

"Aw, man!"

* * *

_So...I don't know how he did it, but Brainy blew up mac and cheese XD_

_Anyhow, please request and review and read and...all the like. I love you all!_

_~With Love, Firegirl~_


	6. Caffeine

_Hello Wonderful Readers! It's me, your beloved author!  
I'm sure you're all very surprised to see an update on this! I have been re-watching Legion of Superheroes over my Fall Break and decided to write some more Misfortunes. My Muse has awakened!_

_Aaaanyhow, I hope you like this one, requested by The Violet Rose!_

_Also, I will hopefully be adding a few more this break and then sporadically over the next...whenever amount of time. REVIEWS ARE APPRECIATED AND LOVED! __Request Misfortunes!_

_This one is set pre-season-one._

_I don't own LoSH obviously. These one-shots are just sick and twisted products of my imagination. _

* * *

**CAFFEINE**

"It looks kind of strange."  
"Just try it! It's really delicious!"  
"Speak for yourself, only adults drink that stuff."  
"Hey! I drink it!"  
"You only drink frilly girly stuff like Frappuchines and Cappiatos or whatever."  
"They don't have anything like this on Colu..."  
"Come on, Brainy, it's just coffee."  
A small cluster of young teenagers were standing in the corner Stargalaxy coffeeshop, looking at the intimidating array of different coffee based drinks to chose from. They were initiating their newest non-human member into the very human practice of coffee drinking.  
"Well...I suppose it does smell rather nice." The petite male admitted, dual-toned eyes glancing down at the cups his teammates were offering him.  
"You don't seem like the kind of guy who'd like something sweet." Lightning Lad said, gesturing at Phantom Girl's Double Chocolate Frappiato with extra whip and a shot of Mandelorian cocoa.  
"Hey, I drink these all the time! It's good to start off with something that's not straight coffee at first!" She argued, and the ginger rolled his eyes.  
"He needs something more manly like this!" He held out his vanilla soy earl grey misto, earning himself a scowl from the girls.  
"How is something that has soy and earl grey in it manly?" Bouncing Boy asked, and Lightning Lad proceeded to go off on him about how his grande balura-berry creme frappuchinatos were not manly at all and how he needed to get his act together. Brainiac Five watched them with apprehension, still unsure about the whole business.  
"Why don't you just try a simple Terran bean coffee with milk and vanilla cream? That sounds pretty normal." Saturn Girl offered, and Brainy looked around at all of them. He had a very serious look on his face as he glanced at each and every one of the drinks being offered him.  
"I'll try them all in order to make the most accurate comparison of flavors and varieties." He decided, and proceeded to take a hesitant swig of the Double Chocolate contraption Phantom Girl had offered. He turned greener than usual and gave it back.  
"I think Lightning Lad was right about the sweet." He admitted, and then reached for the next cup. Shrinking Violet had a bad feeling about where this was going.

.

"I mean, have you ever noticed how completely moronic the Vulcan theorem of relative existence is? I mean, those guys are wonderfully intelligent and all but really the idea that all things in existence only exist in relation to other things is preposterous! I mean I exist even if I have no relation to Triplicate Girl-another thing! How on Earth can all three of the Triplicates have a differed personality? Does that mean that when she is one being she has multiple personality disorder? Or schizophrenia? Or maybe bipolarity-tripolarity? Why do you only have three, Luornu? Do other people on your home planet have four? Five? Six even? Because having even more could be immensely helpful I'm sure. I wish I had more hands all the time-I mean, if I had four hands, I could get twice as much work done! Can you imagine all the things I could make with four hands? Like those people from Arachna, they have multiple limbs naturally-I wonder how difficult it would be to make a suit that copies those traits..."  
Brainiac Five was pacing around the floor of the Legion Lounge talking to anyone present in the room-or maybe to himself-and holding the empty cup that had held his last sample of coffee. He had sampled nearly every variety in the store and was now practically vibrating as his virgin system was infused with massive amounts of caffeine.  
"Um...Brainy? Are you ok?" Phantom Girl queried, and he whipped his head around, eyes wide.  
"What? I'm perfectly OK! And OK? Where did that saying even come from? I'm OK. Are you OK? OK! It's so strange! And when did it become a saying? I think it was sometimes before the Great Crisis-have you ever studied the Great Crisis? It's a fascinating subject, you know. I can give you a lesson on it sometime if you'd li-" Suddenly his stream of insanity was cut off abruptly as Lightning Lad covered his mouth with his gloved hand.  
"Alright, Brainy, it's time for you to go work on some things in your lab." Lightning Lad said, dragging the Coluan with him.  
"But I don't want to go to the lab! I want to talk to all of you-but I do feel like I could charge a battery with my body right now! I've never tried to charge a battery with my energy before! Maybe I'll try that. Do you think it would work?"  
Lightning Lad tossed Brainy into his laboratory and stood in the doorway, barring the younger boy from exiting. "Naah ah ah, you're staying here for a while. Got it?"  
He then closed the door in his face and locked it. He turned around and gave Phantom Girl a vicious glare.  
"Who said it was a good idea to give the kid coffee again?"  
"Yeah. Never again."

.

_Several Months Later_...  
Lightning Lad yawned and stretched, rubbing his eyes as he entered the kitchen and dining area of Legion HQ for his breakfast. It was still really very early and not many Legionnaires were awake, but he had early morning patrol and had to be up and about.  
He passed Brainiac Five, who was sitting at one of the tables with a holo-pad reading the newsreel and sipping something. Lightning Lad sniffed and leaped back, eyes wide.  
"BRAINY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" He cried, and Brainy glanced up at his teammate with a quirked eyebrow.  
"I am currently consuming coffee and reading the newsreel. Is there something wrong?"  
Lightning Lad paused, obviously surprised at the calmness of his teammate. "You...are you feeling ok? You're not freaking out."  
Brainy rolled his eyes and took another sip of his steaming drink. "I don't know what you mean by 'freaking out,' I'm fine. You need to hurry-we leave for patrol in ten minutes."  
Lightning Lad spluttered and Brainy smirked into his stark black coffee-because that was exactly the way he liked it.  
And no one was allowed to speak of his run-in with caffeine ever again.

((THE END))

* * *

_Hope you liked that one XD I don't know about the rest of you, but when I've had too much caffeine I go PSYCHO! _

_Anyhow, thanks for reading, reviewing and hopefully enjoying!_

_~From Firegirl with Love~_


	7. Gay? Nay? EH!

_READERS! HELLO!_

_You're all very surprised to hear from me again so soon I'm sure! I'm on a roll this weekend. Pray to the Writing Gods that it continues!_

Anyhow, I feel the need to put in several warnings/explanations for this chapter: so I know you all know how large the Superman/Brainy fanbase is. You may or may not personally ship it-I waver back and forth, I won't lie. Throughout the show many hints are dropped that Brainy may have feelings of some nature for Superman. I'm simply playing with the question of Brainy's preferences in this misfortune, and if it really just drives you up the wall then please, by all means, skip over this chapter! I won't be offended! But don't bash, flame or hate on it please.

_Set during-season-two._

_For the rest of us, read on! I love you all, reviews are my lifeblood. Enjoy!_

* * *

**Gay? Nay? EH?**

"You really think he is?"  
"No way, _Brainy_?"  
"Definitely."  
"How can you tell?"  
"Yeah, how _can _you tell? Unless you are too, of course."  
"Yeah, birds of a feather and all."  
"I'm not! But he absolutely is."  
"I can actually kind of see where you're coming from..."  
"Exactly! It makes sense, doesn't it?"  
"You're crazy. He's not."  
"Oh, but he is. I have proof."  
"What, that thing we were talking about? That's not proof!"  
"What? What proof? Tell us, Garth, you have to!"  
"Don't be too disappointed Tinya..."  
"We're just curious is all! Aren't you curious?"  
"What's going on in here?"  
Suddenly the room fell silent and heads turned from their gossiping circle. A small figure stood in the doorway, blonde hair standing up at an impossible angle and complexion and organic shade of green. Dual-toned purple eyes surveyed the group of gossips curiously.  
"Oh, hey Brainy. We were just talking about whether or not Cosmic Boy will win the next election." Lightning Lad said smoothly, and the others relaxed a bit and agreed with him. Brainy looked like he was about to inquire further when Shrinking Violet leaped up and asked if there was anything she could help with in the lab. She led him away and the room breathed a sigh of relief.  
"Whew, that was close." Phantom Girl said, and Triplicate Girl nodded in agreement. "So what's this proof you supposedly have, Lightning Lad?"  
All eyes turned back to the ginger Winathan, and he smirked conspiratorily. "You know those simulations he runs all by himself? Well Jo and I ran one of them while he was out."  
"...And?"  
"Let's just say I don't ever want to get that friendly with Superman in real life."  
"That doesn't mean anything, you guys."  
"Go run the sim for yourself! He usually ends up dying in these dramatic ways in Superman's arms!"  
"So he misses his friend! Big deal!"  
"Yeah, you're overthinking it."  
"But his voice is pretty high..."  
"And his uniform is pink!"  
"I think it's technically purple..."  
"Which is no better."  
"Actually, his uniform is magenta."  
"And he does use a lot of hair gel..."  
"Guys! Brainiac Five is not gay!" Bouncing Boy interrupted, and the others looked at him with varying expressions.  
"Oh? Then why don't you go ask him, Chuck? Make sure."  
"I'm not just going to go up and ask him!"  
"Why not? You said he's not, so you can definitely ask him."  
"There is no sprocking way I'm going to waltz up to Brainiac Five and say "Hey, Brainy, are you gay?'"  
"Am I what?"  
Everyone froze up instantly as the familiar voice broke through their hushed argument. Heads turned to see Brainy standing there looking curious in his lab coat with goggles strapped to his face. Shrinking Violet was at his side, looking shocked at how much he had heard.  
"Um...we were just, ah..." Lightning Lad fumbled, but Saturn Girl shot him a silencing look. She stood up and faced him, proving herself the bravest of them all.  
"Brainy...we're just going to ask you straight out instead of whispering about it behind your back. We were wondering if you might be..." She paused, trying to phrase it in a politically correct manner.  
"Gay." Lightning Lad broke in brusquely, and to everyone's surprise Brainy frowned questioningly.  
"I don't think I understand what you're asking, Lightning Lad." He said, and the ginger blew a strand of hair out of his face as his cheeks reddened slightly.  
"You know-homosexual?"  
Brainy blinked once or twice before his eyes widened and he surely would have blushed had he been able, and he coughed awkwardly. "A-Ah why are you asking that question?" He asked, and Triplicate Girl exchanged a look with Phantom Girl with a confirming nod.  
"Well, we were just curious." Saturn Girl said, ever the diplomat. Brainy fidgeted with the button of his lab coat before glancing back up at them.  
"I am not what you would call homosexual." He said decisively, and there was a sigh throughout the room, some of relief and others of something more on the disappointed side. The room began to empty as the gossips found something better to do, and as they left Brainy let out a sigh of relief as Shrinking Violet chuckled.  
"Nicely handled." She said, and he smirked at her.  
"I didn't lie. I am not homosexual." He said, and they began to make their way back to the lab. She rolled her eyes.  
"But you do like Superman, don't you?"  
He glanced at her with a devilish expression. "They asked if I was homosexual, not if I had feelings for any particular man."  
She laughed at his ingenuity. "So you still lied."  
He set back to work on the machine they were building, pulling his goggles down. "I did nothing of the sort. I find women perfectly attractive you know." He said, and she looked at him with a hopelessly confused expression.  
"So...what, are you bi-sexual? Straight with a thing for Superman? I'm really confused now." She said, and he chuckled.  
"Yes, and that's exactly how I want you to be."  
To this day no one really knows.

((THE END))

* * *

_Mr. Owl, what is Brainiac Five's sexual orientation?  
The world may never know. _

_Anyhow, hope you enjoyed it! I had a blast writing it XD Please review! I love you all! And request misfortunes in your reviews, I really do listen to them! _

_~With love from Firegirl~_


	8. Never Bet on Twister

_I love you my lovely readers! In fact, I love you SO MUCH that I've posted THREE Misfortunes this week.  
THAT'S HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU!_

_Anyway, this Misfortune was actually inspired by the Misfortune that will (in theory) come directly after it. We'll see how long my inspiration lasts. Anyhow, the only warning for this chapter is extreme competitiveness and use of Firegirl my OC. Set post-season-two._

_Read, Review, Request, Enjoy!_

* * *

**Never Bet on Twister**

"Hey Brainy...wanna play a game?"  
Brainiac Five glanced up from the work he was doing as a cluster of Legionnaires crowded by the doorway to his lab. Firegirl was in the forefront, looking at him with those big puppy dog eyes she had a tendency to use against her Coluan Boyfriend.  
"What kind of game?" He asked suspiciously. "I'm working on something rather important." She glanced behind at the others for assistance.  
"It's a game from the twenty-first century...I think you'll like it." Cham edged, and then a familiar voice that was sure to convince him called, "Come on, Brainy! I brought it all the way here!"  
He looked up as Superman, Firegirl, Chameleon Boy, Shrinking Violet, and several others stood waiting for him to come and play a game with them. He sighed and put his screwdriver down-he wouldn't be finishing anything anyhow.  
"What game is it?"  
They all pretended not to be as excited as they were as he joined them in the doorway, and Firegirl grabbed his hand and pulled him with them down the hall as they went to the room already prepared for their latest debacle.  
When he entered the room he looked around questioningly. "This is a game? All I see is a mat on the floor with colored circles on it." He said, and Superman and Firegirl exchanged an amused glance. None of the other Legionnaires had ever even heard of this game, so it was going to be quite an experience.  
"It's called Twister. Basically, how you play is the spinner will give you directions and you have to follow them-like this." Firegirl spun the little arrow and obeyed the instructions by placing her left foot on a red square.  
"See? Then your hands will go on the mat, and your feet...everyone ends up all tangled around each other and whoever falls over loses."  
Cham was already ripping his boots off to play, and capes were being shed as others did the same. Brainy didn't look convinced.  
"I do not see how becoming a tangled mass of limbs will be fun." He said, and there was much pouting and pleading that ensued. He backed up to the wall, adamant about not touching the accursed mat. As the others began to take their positions, a particular Ginger with a scar and peach fuzz sidled up next to the Coluan.  
"So you're scared, huh?" He asked, and Brainy scowled at him.  
"I'm not scared, Lightning Lad, I'm merely not interested in being wrapped around the other Legionnaires." He muttered, and the Winathan chuckled with a shrug.  
"Yeah, I'm sure you save that for FG."  
Brainy blushed and scowled at him again. "Well I would not be any good at the game anyway! I cannot move my limbs the way I used to." He growled, and Lightning Lad shrugged again.  
"You just know I'll beat you if we play." He said, and there was a shriek and a giggle as Shrinking Violet went careening off to the side after being twisted into a ridiculous position.  
Brainy stared at Lightning Lad for a few seconds before he really computed what had just been challenged of him, and his expression turned icy.  
"You think I am afraid of losing to a braggart like yourself? We shall see." He said as Firegirl landed on Superman with a shout, leaving Cham the only contestant still in play.  
"New round, new players." Superman decided, and to everyone's surprise Brainy stepped forward, glaring at Lightning Lad.  
"I'm not going to be beaten so easily, Lightning Lad." He said dangerously, and Garth grinned and tossed his gloves on the couch beside Kal, who was pretending not to be interested in the slightest.  
"How about a wager to make it more interesting?" He offered, and Brainy stared hard at him from across the mat. Phantom Girl was standing beside him and Cham (being the winner of the last round) was in for another go. The air became tangibly heavier as Firegirl picked up the spinner.  
"Alright, have it your way. What are the wagers?" Brainy asked tersely, and Lightning Lad smirked.  
"If I win, you have to make me that Hover Bike that you refuse to build for me." He said, and Brainy nodded after a brief moment of contemplation. "And if I win?"  
Lightning Lad scratched his peach fuzz before Firegirl interjected with a suggestion. "How about he has to be your personal footstool-ah, I mean, Lab assistant-for a week?"  
Lightning Lad looked like this idea frightened him very much but Brainy seemed pleased with her evil ingenuity. "I agree. Shall we play?"  
They shook hands on it and then the arrow began to spin.  
"Left foot Green."  
Four feet were placed on green circles, with Cham and Phantom Girl scooted as far away from the feuding two as possible.  
"Right foot Yellow."  
Brainy and Lightning Lad were on neighboring spots, chest to chest as they stared each other down.  
"Right hand Blue."  
They knelt down and slammed their hands on the blue circle, making Cham cringe.  
"Right foot Red."  
There was a bit of intense shuffling as they tried to get their free foot to the other end of the board, but they managed it.  
"Left Hand Green!"  
"Right foot Blue!"  
"Right Hand Blue!"  
Phantom Girl forfeited as she phased through Lightning Lad to get to a blue circle, and Cham looked very nervous to be on the mat alone with the two feuding heroes.  
"Right foot yellow!"  
"Left hand Green!" Firegirl suddenly snickered. "Brainy's left hand is already green. Does he still have to find the space?" But the two players were too focused to hear her or to acknowledge her comment.  
"Right hand red!"  
Cham yelped and tipped over, and Lightning Lad grinned victoriously as Brainy grimaced-he was in a very unstable position himself, and Lightning Lad had longer limbs than he did.  
"Right hand Yellow!"  
"Left foot Blue!"  
"Left hand red!"  
"Right hand green!"  
"Left hand blue!"  
"Right foot yellow!"  
"Right hand red!"  
Brainy suddenly teetered, swaying as Lightning Lad bumped against him, and then he let out an anguished gasp as his balance failed him and he tipped over onto his rear end. The room was dead silent for a moment before Lightning Lad stood up and threw his hands up in victory.  
"Champion!" He crowed, and then laughter finally eased the tension in the room. Brainy looked stricken, and Firegirl tried not to laugh as she helped him to his feet.  
"Looks like you'll be building that hover bike after all, Brainy." She said with a grin, and he shot a withering glare in Lightning Lad's direction. The ginger grinned and slung a muscled arm over Brainy's slim shoulders.  
"Don't feel too bad, Brainy, I mean I did win gold at the Galactic Games last year." He said, and Brainy shrugged his arm off.  
"Get off of me. I'll build your bike." He growled, and Lightning Lad winked at him.  
"I'll get you the exact design by Friday, alright? Oh, and sorry you won't have a lab assistant to help you out. I'm sure it would have been a blast."  
Brainy turned and stormed from the room, and as the door slammed the room was dead silent for a few seconds until everyone burst out laughing at what a terrible winner Lightning Lad was and also at what a sore loser Brainy was.  
It was the most intense game of Twister the world has ever known.

((THE END))

* * *

_I can imagine Brainy getting super competitive...is that just me? Anyway, this one was kind of funny and I really want to go play Twister now XD_

_Thank you for reading, thank you for reviewing, thank you for requesting and I hope you enjoyed it! Stay tuned for more Misfortunes!_

_Also, if anyone wants me to start a Many Misfortunes of the Legion of Superheroes fic...let me know and give me suggestions. Because I'm contemplating it. _

_~Massive amounts of love from Firegirl~_


	9. Doors are Entirely Overrated

_NIHAO! __Look at this nonsense, another Misfortune. Am I awesome or what?_

_Anyhow, this Misfortune is set like two days after the previous one, Never Bet on Twister. I was watching LoSH and I noticed how many times Superman goes bursting through a wall when there is a door like ten feet away...and so this idea was born XD_

Firegirl features prominently in this one, set post-season-two. 

_Read! Review! Request! Enjoy!_

* * *

**Doors Are Entirely Overrated**

Brainiac Five was sitting in his lab as per usual working on building a hover motor bike for Lightning Lad. Not because he wanted to, oh no-because he had lost a bet. He was never going to play Twister again.  
He sighed and stood up, cracking his back before heading over to get his coffee off the table. There were two mugs there-Firegirl had been assisting him earlier but her attention span had run out after an hour or so and she had conveniently vanished. She would probably come back later.  
He sighed and picked up his coffee, leaning back lightly against the hover-bike he was building. He had so many things he could be spending his time on that would be less of a waste...  
Suddenly the machine swayed, and he jolted back as it rocked away from him. Brainy looked back and realized it was falling, and he dove out of the way with a shout as it came crashing down, barely missing landing on him. The echoing clang was deafening, and he closed his eyes as the entire thing was practically smashed to pieces.  
Don't freak out, Brainy, don't lose it...  
CRASH!  
Suddenly another deafening bang sounded from behind him, and he turned to see Superman floating there looking around wildly. There was a hole in the wall directly beside the door, and Brainy closed his eyes again. Don't lose it, Brainy, don't lose it...  
"Brainy! Are you alright? I heard you yell and there was a crash!" He said, and Brainy smiled tightly.  
"I'm fine. My project collapsed." He said tersely. Superman relaxed, coming back down to the floor.  
"Oh. I thought you were hurt or trapped under a pile of parts again." He said, and Brainy nodded sharply. Superman glanced around and then finally seemed to notice that he had caused a bit of a mess coming in.  
"Oh...sorry about the wall." He said, and Brainy finally snapped.  
"Superman...Doors exist for a reason. You know that, right? There's a door there? Do you know how many times I've had to repair these walls? Because you come flying through them all the time? What is with you and your inability to use doors anyway? How many times have you gone smashing through a perfectly good wall when you could have just used the door? Here's a thought-Doors are there for a reason! USE THE SPROCKING DOOR!"  
He was panting by the time he finished, and Superman was staring at him with wide eyes. Brainy rarely flew off the handle, but when he did it was a sight to behold. Several other Legionnaires had heard the crash and poked their heads through the gaping hole in Brainy's wall.  
"Oh. Sorry." Superman managed, and Brainy rubbed his temples to stop the beginnings of a migraine.  
"Just go." He grumbled, and Superman headed back for the hole in the wall. Brainy turned and threw a wrench at the wall, making Superman stop with a jolt as it hit with a loud CLANG to his left.  
"USE THE DOOR!" Brainy shouted, and Superman hurried through the sliding door and left the stressed genius alone. The others had quickly made themselves scarce, and Brainy collapsed in his chair with a sigh. Soft footsteps approached, and he growled as Firegirl slid her arms around his neck from behind his chair.  
"You know...he doesn't use doors very often, does he?"  
Brainy chuckled wearily and shook his head. "No. Apparently if you can smash through walls without the slightest bit of effort it just becomes a habit."  
Firegirl giggled. "That's one thing I've always thought was funny about Superheroes-they end up causing so much property damage they almost have to get paid just to pay for the damages! Superman and Kal are a walking demolition team on their own!"  
Brainy leaned back against her shoulder and sighed. "I shouldn't have yelled at him-I'll have to apologize later, I'm sure. He acts like a kicked puppy when people get angry with him." He muttered, and she nodded, kissing his temple lightly.  
"So I vote we leave this stupid bike for later and go do something fun." She said, and he rolled his eyes.  
"You are an expert at avoiding work."  
She laughed and pulled him to his feet. "Quick, this way." She pushed open the air vent and motioned for him to follow. He stared at her for a minute before she grinned.  
"Hey, I don't like using doors either. This is the only way we'll get out of here without Lightning Lad seeing us and getting mad that you're not working on his bike."  
He sighed, shook his head, and then clambered into the air duct after her.  
Because doors are entirely over-rated, after all.

((THE END))

* * *

_Mwa ha. Anyway, fourth one this week! I'm on a Legion Roll! Pray to the Muse Gods that it lasts!_

_Thank you all for reading and reviewing, I will see you again soon!_

_~FiregirlxBrainiacFive~_


	10. First Interview

_Well, I thought it was time we had some thoughts from Brainy himself on this little misadventure of ours-so here you have it. _

_Some clarification for this: several legionnaires (including myself as my OC Firegirl) appear in this chapter which is kind of in a Chat format. The symbols that correspond to the legionnaires are as follows:  
0-o-0 Brainiac Five  
~^~ Firegirl  
/\/\/ Lightning Lad  
\o/ Chameleon Boy  
-S- Superman  
-S- Kel-El  
~o~ Cosmic Boy_

_Set...sometime post-season-twoish_

_Anyway, Read, Review, Request, Enjoy!_

* * *

~^~ Hello everyone, and thank you for reading this little story of mine! I'm Firegirl and I'm here with Brainiac Five at Legion HQ!

0-o-0 Brogyn, why are you talking in your announcer voice? And please take that microphone out of my face, it has no batteries.

~^~ So Brainy, I thought I'd take this chance to ask you a few questions!

0-o-0 What kind of questions?

\o/ Well she's writing a story about your misfortunes. How do you feel about your fans taking pleasure from your pain?

~^~ I didn't ask you, Cham, get out of my interview room

0-o-0 Well...I feel like that's rather rude...but humans do tend to have a more twisted sense of humor than other species. So I suppose it's understandable.

-S- Wait, what story? You didn't write about me in that story, did you?

/\/\/ Why not? You cause more chaos on this team than anyone else, Clark.

\o/ Except for maybe Kel...he's like a walking super storm.

~^~ Hey! I'm not done talking here!

-S- I feel like I should be offended by that

0-o-0 I have just read your little story in its entirety, and I have to object to your use of personal events for the amusement of others-

/\/\/ There's some dirt in there, right? Something embarrassing? Let me see the holopad, Brainy!

-S- If it's embarrassing for Brainy then you have no right to read it! Let go of it Lightning Lad!

\o/ WHOA! Don't throw things around guys!

-S I'm leaving

0-o-0 Lightning Lad, I hope you know that the credits for a replacement holopad will be taken from your account

/\/\/ Whoa, what? You can't do that!

\o/ He totally can, Garth

-S- It's only fair, Lightning Lad

/\/\/ Now you're all teaming up on me! I'm going to-

~^~ GET OUT! GET OUT ALL OF YOU! No, not you Brainy. Stay here. The rest of you, OUT OUT OUT OUT OUT!

*Several moments of silence as the others are herded out of the room*

~^~ So, where were we?

0-o-0 I believe we were discussing the story

~^~ Right. So how do you like it?

0-o-0 It is amusing, from an outside point of view, and it brings back memories...some of which I have long since buried.

~^~ Oh come on, none of them are that embarrassing.

0-o-0 Have they read your in-progress misfortunes yet?

~^~ Well no, they're still in progress.

0-o-0 The worst is yet to come, then. I think the fact that you fell the need to recount the incident with the pickle jar is-

~^~ AH HA HA HAAA the Pickle Jar! Oh I can't wait to post that Misfortune!

0-o-0 ...you see what I deal with?

~^~ I'm not all that bad. Am I really?

0-o-0 No, I didn't mean it like that, I was only using the human technique of dry sarcasm and-

~^~ I know, I was making a joke.

0-o-0 Oh.

~^~ Back to questioning-if you had to choose a legionnaire to write a Misfortune Fic for, who would you write for?

0-o-0 I suppose I would probably choose Lightning Lad, if only for the reason that he tends to be a magnet for misfortune

~^~ Well I totally agree with that. I've got some misfortunes for the guy in planning.

0-o-0 I wish you luck. However...I do have a statement to make in reference to chapter seven of your story.

~^~ Uh oh. I knew I was going to get in trouble for that one eventually.

0-o-0 My feelings for Superman are-

_**BOOM!**_

/\/\/ What the frell was that?

~o~ Legionnaires, we've got trouble!

0-o-0 It looks like the Fatal Five and the LSV are here-come on, Firegirl

~^~ Wait, but you didn't finish your sentence! Brainy! You can't leave us hanging like that! Well sorry, Fans, I guess we'll see you next time! *Hey, wait for me!*

THE END

* * *

_And the question remains unanswered. Perhaps we'll never know._

_Please review and request guys! I love you all! And so does Brainy! (However he may try to deny it)_

_~Firegirl_


End file.
